Monday, June 8, 2009


Geez, I havent' been here FOREVER.

So for an update.

AJ-is great! He's starting a new job on Wednesday that will get him home every night and me completely off the truck. As an added bonus there is a pay increase, more days off, and he only has to work 10 hours a day instead of 14.

Mom-Seems to be getting better and says she's happy in Denver. I miss her terribly, but hopefully she'll get back to normal and come home soon. *Crosses fingers*

Sissy-Seems to be coping with the stress better and me and her are back on speaking terms.

Me- Tired of looking for a job in an economy that is DEAD. I can't wait until August when I can get back into school. Hopefully I'll be taking 18-21 hours and working 30-40 hrs a week. I'll be busy, but I'm always happiest when super busy.

Miss you all!

Saturday, March 14, 2009

Okay sorry I've been dreadful about writing about writing lately. I got kinda wrapped up in AJ.

So here it goes. Can you paint with words? Are pictures stronger than words?

As a writer I strongly believe words can paint a picture more than even a picture can.

Paul Harvey was one that also believed this. I'm going to miss him. He's been giving me the "Real Story" since I was born. I cried when I heard the news that he had died.

Saturday, February 28, 2009


Thursday, February 26, 2009


Now playing: Alter Bridge - Watch Over You
via FoxyTunes

Our first date was freaking perfect even though everything went to hell.

The day was horrid! Tuesday during school all was good, then on the way home I hit a clod of dirt and punctured my radiator. Then Aunt Linda took me home and I went to get dressed. Grandma came in to confront me. UGH!!! Then when trying to leave Nate stopped me from taking Mom's car. Talk about a freaking headache! So AJ picked me up.

We went to Applebee's where I guess I was rude to the waiter, but I'm not usually rude to waiters and it upset AJ. I hate upsetting AJ, but I don't know the waiter seemed bored or something and wanted to talk and I wanted AJ to myself.

The night was great. If a bit exhausting as we didn't go to sleep until 4 a.m.

The next day we went to Dallas. Dallas is pretty. It may be huge, but what I saw of it didn't seem like HELL as I feel about most cities. We don't agree about much living-wise, but we are willing to make compromises. The hypothetical plan at the moment is- I move to Dallas, we get an apartment, I go to law school down there, and HOPEFULLY he switches to something 9-5. I'm not sure I'll be a happy camper being alone.

My family approves. This is the first guy ever that they've approved of. Rock they HATE as do all my friends and I can see why. At times AJ will say something that sounds so Rock-ish and it throws red flags in my head. Bubbly boy they also hated, which I'm not sure until this day why.

Tonight I did something I shouldn't have and he was harsh, cause he's tired mainly. And even though he has the right to yell knowing it upset me, upset him.

I cried because I don't have him, and it upset him alot. I am trying not to make him feel guilty for having to be away, but sometimes it's hard not to cry for him. Then our goodnights were great. He told me I was his sunshine.

Okay enough gushing for one night, I'll write a "Writerly" post later. Promise.

Wednesday, February 18, 2009

Seriously fun life-y post.

OMG! I just got off the phone with AJ! Today we talked for 8 hours, yesterday 10, just actual talking not counting the 3 hours of texting while I was in class. As soon as I wake up I’m supposed to text him to talk me to school, and then we will text throughout Math, and then he’ll talk me home.

He is so freaking perfect, I’m just worried about one thing, is it okay that we are in like with one another's minds over one another bodies? We talked for 4 hours tonight about movies. MOVIES, 4 hours, that’s like watching 2! We have sexual tension of COURSE, but we’d rather just talk about anything. Politics, religion, friends, anything and everything.

I’m so freaking shy with him at times, and then times I’m so talkative that he has a problem getting a word in edgewise. It’s so much give and take.

Yesterday AJ was like, “I’m thankful to Rock for being a jerk or I wouldn’t have had a chance.” Crazy thing? I’m happy for the months of pain because AJ is so much fun. He’s understanding about the friendship.

I’m tired I have class must attempt at sleep!

Wednesday, February 4, 2009


Shameless, plug, come on guys I'm not going to be posting as much here so get your little fanny over to

Saturday, January 31, 2009

New Blog!

This blog from it's inception was to be a catch all and since I am getting more dedicated to my writing I wanted to make a blog with my pen name.

So it's open and ready and I want all of you to visit and tell me if it's too girlie. K?

Thanks! All!

Tuesday, January 27, 2009


So, the second in the list of emotions would have to be scared. Why you ask? Because I don't know that I've ever been as scared as I am at the moment. Mom is incredibly sick, she's in a diabetic pre-coma, meaning she's just on this side of consciousness. Yesterday we went on the ambulance and the doctor found nothing wrong, said it was a drug interaction though he clearly knew nothing. Then I called Doc, the family doctor and he was like it's a (huge word) and I was like "Huh?" "Pre-diabetic coma"


Tomorrow I'm braving the roads to take Mom to Nate. I know this is scary, but I'll do it and be happy about it because Mom is sick and I can't handle her alone. She doesn't even know who I am. It's scary and it's time to take her somewhere that she can get help. Wasn't expecting this for years.


Doc says I need to regulate her blood sugar and so there's no sleep tonight.


Book-"Castles"- why? because the hero is perfect. He just takes over and handles everything. He's protective and bossy, and in one word, "Him". It takes the stress away. Makes me happy.


Song-Amazing Grace. Yes, the one that always says that she doesn't believe in a higher power turns to God every single time she's scared.


Excerpt- Too tired to find, maybe I'll give you one later.

Friday, January 23, 2009


I'm going to start a new series of posts that begin with a feeling. With which I will include a book and a song for each and a portion of a novel that I've written.


Anger is starting these off because for the past week I've felt an inordinate about of it. The clenching of the teeth, the yelling opposed to singing to the radio in the car, the looks that seem like acid, all of these are classic traits, and let me tell you I have hand cramps from gripping my fist too tightly.


The best book for this feeling is actually a series written by Karen Chance, the Cassandra Palmer series. It's a series that makes the blood boil and the bad guy pay. I'm all for violence when I'm in a mood, fictional violence that is. This is not for the Mercs'. This is a book for the more weak of heart, but I still love them. I often read them on the way from home. Fun fast read that will get your mind off whatever is angering you.


My favorite song while being angry is Blake Shelton's "It Isn't Easy Being Me". It's fast paced enough to get some of it out, but still has a means something significant.


Okay so a portion of Day this time:


Jacob entered the library to find a drunken man sprawled across his desk. His stomach revolted at the sight, he grabbed him by his collar and hauled him up against the wall. “Leave your daughter alone.”

“What? You tellin’ me what to do? My daughter is none of your concern.” The Congressman shouted as he attempted to loosen himself from Jacob’s grip.

“I will call your notes as well as leaking them to the press. You think you can still win the election with that information out?” Jacob gritted out as he shoved one of the notes underneath the Congressman’s nose with one hand as restrained him with the other.

“If I find out that you’ve tried to make contact with Ms. Wilmot, be assured that I will not hesitate…” Without finishing his sentence he dropped the almost pitiful man leaving him slumped on the ground. He did not trust himself around Abigail’s father for a moment longer.

The only thing that kept him from putting his fist through his despicable face was Abigail’s reaction to his threat of recourse when he first met her. The last thing he wanted to do was upset Abigail, but to disappoint her would tear him apart.


What do you think calms your anger the most? Do you scream/sing at the radio? What is your favorite song/book when being angry? And do you think that excerpt shows his anger?

Tuesday, January 20, 2009


I have a whooper of a secret. I have many secrets, but one secret is much larger than the other secrets in my life.


I'm writing a book with a girl that has a had to hide a secret from birth. A secret about her birth.


So I ask you my fellow writers? Do you have a dozy of a secret? And when is it hardest to not tell this secret?

Monday, January 12, 2009

First of all, I'm in an odd mood tonight so bare, bear? with me. Today, was my first day back to school.


My first class was at 10 today and I arrived at the Wellness Center, where this particular class is located, at 10:01. So I was starting off on a bad foot. I walk in, dreading this class, go to the front desk and ask "Do you know what room Wellness Concepts is located in?" Blond little bimbo, says, as she pops her gum, "That-a-way." Very well, I walk over there and it looks to be full of rodeo people. My college is the leading school in the state for rodeo and so most of our boys wear wranglers and occasionally chaps. So I'm like I bet it's a rodeo meeting. Standing outside, I consider going in when a black guy walks up to me. "You know if that's Wellness?" he asks. I'm like "Not sure."


I follow him in. We are in the right place luckily.


We have to fill out a couple of forms and then we are free to go. Black guy, don't know his name, turns to me and touches my hand. Which resulted in my pen being on the other side of two aisles. Nerves were flying. He hands me his pen. Nice guy.


But other than that my first day was incredibly good after a month off.


I'm in Eng. Lit before 1800, and so I have to read a TON! And then write a paper on it. For Steed none-the-less. I think I'll love the class though.


Oh is my sisters 26th birthday tomorrow. So I'm gonna do a quick bio on her.



Born in Denver during one of the most hazardous blizzards for years, came a pink cuddly little baby with the cutest smile you've ever seen. A one-sided dimple with dark hair that she quickly rubbed off her head in  her crib. By the time I was born she was already deconstructing highchairs and brushing her hair with a toilet brush.


Today she again lives in Denver, WAY too far from me. And is in photography school. She's a great big sister. I love her to death. And if she doesn't come home soon that may become literally.

Sunday, January 11, 2009

Break Ends

So, for the last month or so I've had a break from everything school related. It was nice, but I am fully ready for it to resume again. Though, I am having a great time working on Idyllically Human it's time to return to the "real" world.

I'm taking 18 hours again this semester. So the likelihood of seeing me frequently is about one in a million. I'll try to keep up with everything, crits, forums, and try to log on to Gtalk at least once a day, but I'm not sure I'll have time. Here is my schedule:









I'm currently watching DL Hughley. Not a show I frequently watch, but I was in a mood for comedy and he's hilarious. The first few stories were light hitting. Bush acting like he's already out of the White House, etc, then two people from people that hate one another came on. A Jew and a Muslim. I'm more Jewish than even Christian. I have no problem saying there is a God, but to say someone has already walked the earth as his form, makes me a bit nauseous. Mostly because certain aspects of what the bible says I find incredibly wrong. Incredibly.


I'm illegitimate. And when I was nine-ish I was reading my sisters bible and I found a passage that said basically that all those who were pregnant and not married should be stoned. Now I know many of my readers are staunch Christians and they'll say that passage was taken out of context in my nine year old mind. Agreed. But that is where the questioning began.


Next I read Anne Frank. How can this God, I've been taught is fair and good send all these Jews to hell simply for believing in something that the "Messiah" himself believed in. Further, I do not believe that any person that lives a good life is going to hell. If you are generous, loving, truthful, etc. you are not going to be sent to hell for any religion. I for one do not believe at all in Allah. I think it's a religion that has gotten more and more violent. But to say that they are going to hell for believing something I don't is ridiculous.


Nor do I believe the bible is a book that has nothing but truths in it. I often ask those that believe fully in the bible if they also believe anything Bush says. If the answer to that I ask why they would believe a pagan emperor over a Christian president. It's a great historical document, but to live by it is simply dangerous and is one of the main reasons wars are fought. (If you want references or more discussion with use by other sources than a college kid than e-mail me and I can give you any reference you want.)


Gaza is just the latest war raged in the name of religions. I've researched wars from the Spanish Inquisition up. And most are a direct result of differences in religion.


Who here on earth can say their beliefs are absolutely correct? I sure can't. I don't know what's on the other side, and I'm not willing to kill another person for my beliefs. I'm not even willing to die for my beliefs in a greater power. I'm willing to die for my core beliefs. That children are the only source of innocence in this world and adults corrupt them from birth and the less we can kill their innocence the better. That I'd willingly die for. But for God, in the Christian sense no. We are all entitled to our beliefs. Cause the simple truth is no one truly knows.

Tuesday, January 6, 2009


So, I'm a personality quiz junkie. Always have been. Probably always will be. So I took Jung's again lately and I think it fit me perfectly.

I'm an ISTP.

Introvert, Sensing, Thinking, Perceiving.

Because of your desire for action and independence, you will change the format of blogging or design frequently to keep it interesting and different. Your loyalty may have you reading the same blogs over a long period of time. Even though you could be easily bored with blogging, you might find that because you like following a project through, this is a good way for you to use your alone time to sort the facts you pick up through the day. -Bloginality

So that little foray into self-explanation was to explain that I'm changing my blog once again. For those that are getting annoyed with the constant layout change I'm sorry.

Saturday, January 3, 2009


I was unproductive today and this is unproductive post. Oh and I'm kinda rambly today.

I got my hair cut, shopped, and hung out with Lindsay. No writing, no critting, no talking to my advisor.

I guess I was productive on a social front, but on a goal front nada.

I was recently asked what my New Years resolution was going to be. I hadn't really thought about it. Resolutions aren't my thing for New Years.

But I can name one now. To get myself back on track on the college and health front.

For New Years since I was 12 I've used it as a sort of an emotional Spring cleaning. Anyone I'm not talking to I give up on and move on and forget what damage they've caused. I've only made allowances one year since.

I'm not gonna go in to why I came up with this idea, but I think it's a good one.

To let all the pain be remain in the last year and move on with a blank page. People often say, "Today is a new day", but often days, weeks, months run into one another. And all the baggage carries over and for one day we can slow down and let it all go.

This year, I didn't have much to forgive and let go. Means I had a pretty good year huh?

The only thing I was still holding on to was a breach of my trust by the one person I had let in, the same person I made allowances for last year.

How has my life changed in the last year and how has it remained the same?

  • Many of my loved ones are still here from previous years, but I've made some new ones and some I've let go.
  • Grandma Cloyce died in July, Uncle Donny died in May.
  • Mimi, McKayla, Lakin, and Brodie have all come in to my life and blessed it.
  • I've moved houses, though back to the city I grew up in.
  • I'm still in the same college, though a different major.
  • I'm no longer scared of dogs and I have grown leaps and bounds in my new courage.
My life has changed dramatically, though I'm not sure I feel all that different from last year.

Does anyone also think New Years is a good time to clean out emotional baggage? And how many of you LOVE "When Harry Met Sally"

Friday, January 2, 2009

New Year

So quick rant then I'll get on with my post.

If I don't know you please don't comment, if I do know you comment away, under a name I'll recognize. Or I won't post it. Thanks.

Okay on to regular programming.

I just got back home today. LONG trip. Not all of it fabulous.

I didn't write while gone, but I did get some crits ready that I'll type up within the week.

Okay so trip...

Wed-flew out. Good flight...well...not good flight...we arrived an hour late and left 20 min early. The pilot got lost, we had turbulence, but it was fun.

Thursday-Went to Loveland to join Elden for Christmas.

Friday-Finished Christmas shopping.

Sat- Had actual family Christmas. I got a ton.

Sun-Had HUGE fight with Elden, which I'm still pissed about.

Mon-Went to Denver Natural History Museum. Awesome! Loved it! Will post pics later.

Tues-Went to Molly Brown House and Heritage Square.

Wed-Flew out again.

Okay I did the run down...tomorrow I'll try to do something thought provoking.


Home Life | Creative Commons Attribution- Noncommercial License | Dandy Dandilion Designed by Simply Fabulous Blogger Templates