Home Life

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Now playing: Miranda Lambert - More Like Her
via FoxyTunes

See that song, I've been playing it all night.

I'm tired, emotional, and feel like shit.

Yes, this post is from almost 6 o'clock in the morning. No, I haven't slept. What is sleep when you are dying?

I'm super emotional, because when I'm in this state I can't go to sleep without Rock. Something, anything Rock. But he's AWAL, I personally think because he's marrying his married fiance. *BTW I know that sentence is messed up. It's just been my life for the last 18 months.* So I don't have anything Rock to put me to sleep.

So I got a call from the doctor today. The tests have come back and have further confirmed it's either aplastic anemia or luekemia. Thanks, Doc. And I'm aware I didn't tell any of you this. I needed to process it.

Anyways, Dr. Frank. Not primary dr. Since these are going to be common for awhile here's the names. Dr. Samantha Moery-the one that likes to dash all dreams. Okay no I really like her. She's like 32 or something. Young, beautiful, and sweet. Dr. Frank-63, him and Rock would get along well. He's freaking bossy.

So anyways, I ran into Dr. Frank last night at Hastings. He's a beautiful speciman for as old as his btw. Anyways, he's like. "Keep that beautiful smile. I'm not going to let you die." Let me die. Funny one Frankie. I'll die if God choses it. And yes I'm aware you can't be mad at something you don't believe in. But I am. I hate him. Yes I said I hate God. Get it.

He makes me think of Rock all the f-ing time. Like come on. His name is obscure, it doesn't need to be EVERYWHERE!

He thinks on top of the man I still love and probably always will getting married I need a terminal illness. Nice one, God.

Okay, rant of the year. Probably shouldn't post it but I'm going to anyways.

I thought I'd give you a run-down of some of the best links I've found to help me on the business side of publishing.

1-Writing-

CC-the best site EVER! Not only do you find the best friends on the earth, but you can expand your writing beyond your horizons!

Ywriter-Freeware to make your life as a writer just a touch easier.

Dictionaries- Visual learners and for those quick checks.

2-Querying

Agent Query- the best place to find agents of worth

Free Pdf file on how to write a query by Noah Lukeman

A great site to download a free tracker of who you've queried.

3-Publishing

duotrope.com- a great site for finding an online publisher to make a name for yourself.

There are 2 great sites for romance writers who don't want to go the route of an agent. Dorchester who publishes such people as Leigh Greenwood of the Cowboy series and Harlequin.

4-Promoting

Any successful author has to promote their work and you can do this free on such sites as, Twitter, myspace, and facebook. Don't forget to also have a blogger as most of you already do.

The last few weeks have shown me how un-idyllic it can be to be human.

Most if not all of you know about some health problems I'm having which has slowed me down on writing since I got out of school on the 12th.

The 3rd I was tested again for anemia to see if the iron had helped at all, which it hadn't sadly. I was then sent for more blood work, these results were not positive. On Thursday the 11th, I went into the ER, with a tachycardia (fast heartbeat), which is a symptom of what they believe me to have. Tomorrow before they will allow me to go in for my rescheduled bone marrow test I am going for a heart ultra sound.

My best friend, my heart and soul, thankfully is a nurse and is standing beside me throughout this ordeal. I would also like to thank those of you who have listened to me rant about doctors, have encouraged me and love me through out it all.

If I lose my hair, I'll need you all that much more!

I will be starting on the book as soon as my days aren't filled with doctor appts.