Home Life

Cocoa Michelle came home yesterday. Cute doesn't start to describe her. So some pics I'll post more words about her and other stuff later.


And here is the video of me playing with Lil' bit I promised.

I've been thinking about moods this morning.

The stages they go through.

Last night I was angry (dogs barking), then sad (uncle died), then content (Rock-enough said), then hurt (I broke my wrist).

This morning I've been happy (Mom being pretty perfect), philosophical (art-What is art? thegoddessblogs.com), and content (looking at babies).

So as author's it is our job to show these transitions in our characters, but what about the sudden emotion changes. Such as last night on American Idol, George Michaels came on before he did they sang Father Figure. I had a violent reaction to it. Minutes before I'd been completely calm and then all of a sudden I had enough adrenaline to put my finger in my ears even that of my broken wrist.

I was like "MUTE IT"

How do we know what will be the trigger of violent reactions for our characters? We are to make them as lifelike as possible, right? It can be something so small.

I remember after Love and me broke up the first time the smell of his cologne made me break down.

So during that horrible black moment I'm going to make Abigail have something that just makes her break. It can't be music, as they didn't have radio. It can be a scent, but what scent?

What makes people tick? What little things makes you have a reaction?

Like the moon? Does everyone feel the same every time they look at it that I do? Does everyone have the sense of awe? Does everyone look at it and say we are all globally connected? Or is it because my favorite lullaby is "I see the moon, and the moon sees me, and the moon sees the one that I want to see, So God bless the moon, and God bless me, and God bless the one that I want to see"?

So we need to know more about our characters than we even know about our best friends. I have no clue what a trigger for Lindsay would be. What makes her think about Matt more? What makes her sad? See these are things I should know, but I just don't.

And just so those onlookers now. Lindsay is happy with her bf, but that doesn't mean Matt doesn't haunt her thoughts. I'm happy with Rock, today, but that doesn't mean "Father Figure" doesn't remind me of the pain he's caused me. And I still love Love's cologne, makes me want to crawl up into his arms.

I'm too tired and cranky to write so I'm procrastinating.

3 unsent messages, 4 blogs read, useless research, lots of conversation later I still haven't even opened my files. Yes, I have time off so I should be even more dedicated to writing. I know this, but yet I'm procrastinating.

I want to get at least one of those messages actually sent, but I have no idea how to phrase it.

On a slightly different note (though technically it is still procrastination), I'm highly annoyed with the way that the political war between Hilary and Obama is going. I want him to just get the primaries already. She should bow out. Her husband didn't leave after being impeached and it looks like she has no intention of leaving until she is forced out. Kentucky actually chose her! Oklahoma did too, what a shock! We really want a manipulative liar in office?

I'm sorry to all those that actually like her, but come on! You want a woman that portrays all of the negative stereotypes about women in office? Really? You want a cold fish. I bet her motto coincides with that of the Queen of England, "Look the other way and think about England." If I was her husband I'd be cheating too. If I was her daughter I'd have nothing to do with her. I feel honestly sorry for Chelsea Clinton.

Then don't even get me started on McCain. Do you want four more years of Bush? I don't hate him on a personal level, but I hate the idea of this war continuing.

I don't really want any of the 3, but Obama is the best choice. Now I'm done with my political rant.

I joined a new shorts queue today. I need to crit! There is another Okie in the group, it's nice to finally have someone from my area at CC!

I also submitted 3 pieces to Miss Snark's first victim. I think dialouge is my strong suit. Narration is where I get tied up!

I need to work on 3 different stories.

First, my baby, A Bringing of a New Day, I've been working on it for dang near a year. I have 11 chapters done, so what does that average? A chapter a month? Not as bad as I had thought. I'll get it done someday. I've edited it more than I've written it. Does it ever seem like that? You keep editing and it's just never good enough? And so you just push it away. I have oomph for it tonight, for once.

Another reason I don't have the oomph to work on it is that I keep running into this realistic idea of marriage being useless. How can you write about something you aren't sure you believe in? I used to believe in Happy Endings. Honest to God happy endings. The first time I even identified that I believe in "happy ever afters" was watching Enchanted. The witch said, "A place where happy endings don't exist." and I was like "What!?! There aren't happy endings?"

Well, I guess it's true. At least in relationships. I read on thegoddessblogs.com a long time ago that one of the best tidbits of advice they've been given is something to the effect of "All relationships require work, but if you get equal back it doesn't feel like work."

Don't get me wrong. I'm happy. Most of the time. But the idea of marriage just doesn't work out for me. The idea of spending my life with one person for the rest of my life is easy. When I'm in love I'm devoted. And it's not that I've never been in love. I have. I've had more than my fair share of love stories. Heck, the men I've been in love with have lasted no shorter than eight months and going.

So why can't I write about romance? Because one thing ties me up. How can anyone deal with the fights for that long? How can anyone work through the fights that are inevitable when being with the same person for so long?

People that are supposed to be "happy couples", aren't. I don't see one marriage, one relationship that is truly happy. Okay, I'm sure I'm going to be crucified for this, but it's relevant to writing because how can you write about something without cynicism permeating when everywhere you look relationships are falling apart or should be?

Last night I started on a Children's book, or Mid-grade. Right now it's tentatively titled The Grasshopper. So far it has spark that I can't put into romance right now. It gives me back the passion to write, but the only problem is I don't know where it wants to go. I kinda let it take me and I'm not a "pantster" I need to plot from here on out and I don't know a thing about it other than the 4 main characters are Jared, a grasshopper, a squirrel, and a buffalo calf.

So hmm...should I plot, sleep, or write on Day?

Day?

What happens at a picnic under a tree with a 6 year old, a man, and a woman?

The six year old takes center stage of course. So the goal of the next scene is to bond Annie and Jacob, the conflict is internal within Abigail, so that means it needs to be in her POV, and the outcome is she sees that it's a good thing that Annie and Jacob are bonding. They bond over grapes, and laughter. To draw this out and make it relevant you need to show the questions this arises in Abi's thoughts. Does she think about her own father? or just the jealousy that reigns? (Wow, I can type with my eyes closed. I might be a bit tired. The dogs decided to sleep with me last night. 4 interrupted hours of sleep. I must be getting old. This used not to affect me at all.)

Batteries in the camera died or I would post pics of them, and I have a video to show! Soon!

Brain flash! She remembers when her father was a good father.