Home Life

Okay, today has been the best day of the entire month!

First of all, Rock is somewhat back, and as always he won't let me be sad. Why I listen to him more than anyone else, I don't know.

Second, Lindsay and me have been at each others throats. I mean badly at each others throats. Like kill me, kill her. Today she ran by and gave me my Christmas present, a tennis bracelet. Sweet huh?

Third, the doctor finally called. No I still don't know much.

Fourth, Did I mention I love you all? Well I do. I love every single one of you that has made me smile in the last month.

I'll make a short list, if I don't mention you, it's not that I don't love you.

Mimi-My twin, and a sweetheart. Who btw...not only listens to me complain about my health, but Lindsay and Rock as well.

Inky-Who is getting it through my thick skull that not trusting people isn't so good all the time. And speaks reason even when I don't want to hear it.

Lei-who is probably the bossiest one of them all. But she tells it like it is.

Okay, so I didn't list a ton of you. But I love all of you!

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Now playing: Miranda Lambert - More Like Her
via FoxyTunes

See that song, I've been playing it all night.

I'm tired, emotional, and feel like shit.

Yes, this post is from almost 6 o'clock in the morning. No, I haven't slept. What is sleep when you are dying?

I'm super emotional, because when I'm in this state I can't go to sleep without Rock. Something, anything Rock. But he's AWAL, I personally think because he's marrying his married fiance. *BTW I know that sentence is messed up. It's just been my life for the last 18 months.* So I don't have anything Rock to put me to sleep.

So I got a call from the doctor today. The tests have come back and have further confirmed it's either aplastic anemia or luekemia. Thanks, Doc. And I'm aware I didn't tell any of you this. I needed to process it.

Anyways, Dr. Frank. Not primary dr. Since these are going to be common for awhile here's the names. Dr. Samantha Moery-the one that likes to dash all dreams. Okay no I really like her. She's like 32 or something. Young, beautiful, and sweet. Dr. Frank-63, him and Rock would get along well. He's freaking bossy.

So anyways, I ran into Dr. Frank last night at Hastings. He's a beautiful speciman for as old as his btw. Anyways, he's like. "Keep that beautiful smile. I'm not going to let you die." Let me die. Funny one Frankie. I'll die if God choses it. And yes I'm aware you can't be mad at something you don't believe in. But I am. I hate him. Yes I said I hate God. Get it.

He makes me think of Rock all the f-ing time. Like come on. His name is obscure, it doesn't need to be EVERYWHERE!

He thinks on top of the man I still love and probably always will getting married I need a terminal illness. Nice one, God.

Okay, rant of the year. Probably shouldn't post it but I'm going to anyways.